Thursday, March 20, 2008

GQ: She Probably Stopped Smiling When She Saw The Newsstand

OMG dude look as Rachel Bilson's legs they're uhhh like totally whoa. Yeahhhh! (sound of smoke being inhaled). Whoa! she's like uhhh some sort of sideshow. You know what would be (more smoke-related noises) totally amazing: we should uhhhh put like an inexplicably fake umm shadow behind her, so she's like a warp-legged captain of a rubber sheet. Whoa! Yo Art Director didn't we order a pizza?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Spiderman 2: Mary Jane Is Mister Fantastic

Either Kirsten Dunst's right left arm is five feet long and has two elbows, or someone, somewhere, figured no one would notice. We are that no one!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Hanes: Look Who We Got Our Clipping Path On Now

If you're trying to guess which one is the real leg, the smart money is on neither.

Friday, March 14, 2008

More Evidence Of Massive Conspiracy Against Diane Keaton

Diane Keaton can't catch a break these days. Not only is she haphazardly comped with Mandy Moore - just where is she looking? - her mouth has been hacked into the kind of grin that clown morticians might favor.

Also, does Diane Keaton really have only three fingers on her right hand?

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Basic Head Swap

For reasons that probably only make sense to Koreans, Korean posters for Basic Instinct 2 required a head swap for Sharon Stone, so that she had wet hair.

Unfortunately the retouching budget didn't stretch to updating the dry hair in the mirrors behind her.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Diario Sportivo AS: I Wasn't Expecting The Spanish Inquisition

Our chief weapon is Photoshop... and cloning... cloning and Photoshop. Photoshop and cloning. Our two weapons are Photoshop and cloning... and copying and pasting. Argh. Amongst our weaponry are such elements as Photoshop, cloning, copying, pasting. I'll come in again.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Out Magazine: Hey Mr DJ Put A Record On I'm Microcephalic

It looks great, yeah great. You know, one little thing. No big deal. But if you could make the top of her head smaller? Just the top part? So it isn't hiding the banner. Yeah, no, I know, but you know what, no one cares about the top of her head. Just make it smaller. Yes, I know. Just make it smaller. Just do it. I'm just going to go ahead and make that an order. If you could do that, that would be great.

Oh, and if you could make her shoulder disappear, that would also be great.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Bebe: Eva Longoria Is Made Of Rubber

Bebe turns to its inner thirteen year-old for Eva Longoria. Not only is she made of rubber, her suit casts a shadow, as if it were flapping around.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Jimmy Carr: The Jocelyn Wildenstein of Retouching

Looks like someone's been tweaked a little. What does Mr Carr look like in real life?

Okay. You did you know that the airbrush tool has a flow setting, didn't you?

Friday, March 7, 2008

Imagine Babies: What's a watermark?

Images from iStockPhoto: $12
Stealing the preview images instead: $0
Seeing the watermark on your finished, printed artwork: priceless

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Batman Fascinated By Window Frame

Not only is Batman choosing a rather odd position to brood from, the floor is, well, phoned in. The reflections would be correct only if the floor were below the buildings opposite.

Thanks to Shortee for this one.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Diane "Scarecrow" Keaton

Designer: We don't have a full shot of Diane Keaton?
Art Director: Don't worry! She old!
Designer: So I can just make any bizarre body shape and it will be OK?
Art Director: Who care! She old!
Designer: Look! Her head is like 200% too big! And where is her waist?
Art Director: Hello? Are you still working on that?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Castles In The Air

Sir Lancelot gazed fondly into the soft blue pools of Lady Guineviere's eyes and gently held her mutant third hand. Wait, what?

Monday, March 3, 2008

Heartbreakers: Art breakers

Looks like someone isn't very good at hands! Or heads!

Edit: For those of you who like less terseness, here's the blow-by-blow!
Surely statuesque Sigourney would have a head on top of her neck, rather than next to it.
Ewww! Web hands!
This is just awful. It's as if the designer, exhausted from airbrushing the fake arm in had no idea how to end it and just gave up.
What's with the huge hand?
I would have put in #5 Sigourney's blurred-out shoulder, but the other blunders kind of crowded it out. Sorry for the small size; this is the largest image I could find.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Highlander: There can be only wtf

Even if they had remembered to actually put the sword in his hand, this would still win the category for overwhelming homoerotic symbollism.

Props to Jeroen for this one.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Martha Stewart Living: That's one patient dog

Dog looks a little uh, pasted in? Not so much? Perhaps the absence of any doggy footprints is a clue?